AdonisIn a surprise move, Adonis is to become a non-executive director of the £50billion (plus the number you first thought of) HS2, high speed rail project.

Rather than hanging around at The Louvre letting tourists macro-shoot his genitals, Adonis is apparently coming to Britain to lend a much needed hand.

While not being everyone’s natural choice, it is only fair to give him a chance to prove himself and according to our ‘government sources’, he is expected to fit in very nicely with the rest of the team.

They could use him in PR, they did have someone once called Ben Ruse, but it’s been such a long time since anyone I know has heard about him, some say he might have ‘lost heart’ and gone somewhere ‘quiet for a bit’.

No doubt fending off difficult questions about the lunacy of spending so much money, on something that will be out of date years before it is completed, will be a ‘walk in the park’ for Adonis. Compared to having once been mutilated by a barmy Italian Cardinal it may even be pleasurable.

Critics have suggested that the range of skills a Greek marble may be able to lend to the High Speed Two board, would be somewhat limited. Though supporters have pointed out, that the Secretary of State for Transport has risen to his lofty position and might just as well have been fashioned from marble himself, for all that he seems to have done for the project in recent months.

While Mr McLoughlin does appear to have gone very quiet about HS2, it may be that there isn’t much good to be said about it at the moment. My mum always used to tell me, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. Perhaps he is just listening to his mum.

Anyway, I, Buzz, would like to offer my congratulations to Adonis on being appointed to the board of the mammoth HS2 project and wish him every happiness in the future. I regret that I am unable to wish him future success as that wouldn’t be in anyone’s interest, but would like to offer one suggestion…

“Put some trousers on before going to the office on your first day, first impressions and all that!”

Further reading:

Lord Adonis Joins Board – Guardian Newspaper
Soaring Costs Scupper Network Rail Plans – Guardian Newspaper