HS2 Hybrid Bill ReportApplications are invited to apply for the new post of window cleaner for The Houses of Parliament, the new post has been created in the light of nationwide complaints that the machinery of government was suffering from a complete lack of transparency.

“Openness in Government” spokesman, Bill Stickers, felt it was “about time something was done”, as “nobody can see what the hell is going on in there any more. Apparently a government report was lost for months under a dusty pile of war vetos”.

The Major Projects Authority report, which was not released  for general consumption, has only been seen by a small cabal of ministers. Prompting the outrageous accusations of cover up and dishonesty. Though government insists that at least until the second reading of the HS2 Hybrid Bill, it’s findings will not actually be in the public interest.

Transport Minister Pat McGloughlin insists that there is nothing to see here and that we should all move along. Perhaps the appointing of a window specialist may help shed a little more light on the matter.

Applicants should have experience of working in lofty places and will be required to ensure that the dim halls of government are kept free of unwanted glare.

Further reading: Cheryl Gillan MP on MPA Report