Fear not, northern people, HS2 will transform your dismal lives.

Morning Rush by James DownieIt’s happening a tide of change that will roll out across the nation like marzipan on a cake and life “oop north” will never be the same again.

We are of course talking “Transformational”, as if you didn’t know and it’s coming to a ‘back to back’ street near you!

It’s time to ask yourself am I ready to be transformed?

Don’t be a dismal northern failure, anyone can get transformed. Don’t know what it is? Don’t know how to do it? Oh dear! You are a dull lad or lass from up there, by ‘eck. But fear not, northern people, HS2 is here to transform your dismal, metal bashing lives.

Just get located close to HS2 and watch the train speed by. Then you’ll feel so much better – you’ll be well on your way to being Transformed!